6 Secrets to Stress-Free Entertaining

Do you stress out when people come over? Does feeding a larger group than your family make you anxious? That ends today! I’m sharing 6 secrets to stress-free entertaining that will help you to feel in control, host with confidence, and allow for you to enjoy the gathering just as much as everyone else.

There were many years when I was a reluctant host because I had a real fear of entertaining. Over the years, I learned how to overcome that fear and now I am happy to report that I love to host gatherings. And, unsurprisingly, these gatherings are always centered around food.

But even this experienced host can get caught up in the mess and stress of hosting people. Just recently, in fact, I hosted two dinners — one was a huge success, while the other was a nightmare. Given this obvious study in contrasts, I thought it would be a good time to share these two differing experiences as examples and then offer my 6 secrets to stress-free entertaining.

Dinner A: As guests arrived, the kitchen was a disaster! Dishes were piled everywhere. I was finishing the last steps of cooking and chopping. As people arrived, they stood around anxiously watching me frantically finishing up the meal. Dinner was late. I forgot finishing touches I had planned for. I hardly sat down, much less chatted. And, at the end of the evening, I collapsed in a kitchen full of dirty dishes, feeling like a failure. Worst of all, I felt I had projected that stress and guilt onto my family and friends, which led to and less-than-lighthearted gathering.

Dinner B: I greeted guests at the door and sat down to enjoy a glass of wine and appetizers as people floated in. 45 minutes later I pulled dinner from the oven to place on the buffet next to side dishes that had been prepared ahead of time. After gobbling up the main course, we retired to the living room. I put on coffee and tea and swapped the now-empty main dish serving plates with dessert trays. I spent the evening fully enjoying our company and feeling very lucky indeed.

What was the difference? In one case I followed my secrets to stress-free entertaining that I have gathered over the years and in the other, I didn’t.

6 Secrets to Stress-Free Entertaining

Over the years, I have figured out that there are 6 things you can do to make hosting an event relaxed and even fun.

1. Have a plan

Don’t wait until the last minute! About a week before (or whenever you do your meal planning for the week), think through (and write down) all of the entertaining essentials:

• a complete menu plan (drinks for kids and adults, appetizers, main dish, 2-3 side dishes, dessert, coffee or tea)
• a space plan (details below)
• a shopping list, and schedule (details below)

All of these essentials go in a central spot in the kitchen so I can easily add or change as ideas occur to me.

In Dinner A, I skipped this step, which led to full on crisis mode on the day of the event. With Dinner B, I calmly spent time the weekend before, thinking through my plan at the same time as I did my week’s meal plan. Doing this meant not only a firm game plan, but also fewer trips to the grocery store as I was able to get almost all the ingredients I would need at the same time as I did the week’s shop!

2. Pick tried-and-true recipes

Entertaining is NOT the time to experiment with new recipes. I almost always rely on familiar favorites (many of them Scramble meals). And, if I do decide to experiment with one dish, then I make sure that everything else is super familiar and simple, so that I have time to course correct, if necessary.

In addition, I almost always pick dishes that can be cooked in advance and reheated (unless we are grilling). And, for appetizers and dessert, when time is short I have absolutely no problem using store-bought or carry-out options to save time and hassle (Trader Joe’s is my favorite source for easy frozen appetizers and fun dessert options, all at a reasonable price).

In Dinner A, I picked some new recipes online to use up my CSA bounty and found the times were all off! With Dinner B, I served a favorite casserole that I was able to assemble the day before, simple steamed veggies, and chips and guacamole.

3. Arrange the space

Another way to ensure that you experience stress-free entertaining is to think through your use of space. For instance, I like to think through where kids and adults will congregate and sometimes even set it up the day before. Some of the things I find work well are:

• I make sure I have enough seats for the adults, allowing flexibility for last minute extra guests or cancellations.
• I worry less about the kids as I find they are happy plopping anywhere and usually love outdoor tables, the front porch, or the rec room. 
• I like to serve appetizers in a sitting or gathering area, rather than at the table. This gives me a bit of extra time to set up (if I need it) and allows people to mix and mingle a bit more.
• I like to have a central serving station for the main course and side dishes (which is also where the dessert goes at the end of the meal). This is because I find it stressful to table-serve with a crowd and this way people can serve themselves the foods they want without feeling pressure to try dishes they’re less excited about.
• I set up an area with drinks for kids and wine/beer for adults.

4. Write out your shopping list

As I prepare my menu plan, I jot down all the items I need not just for the recipes, but for drinks, paper goods, decorations, etc. I try to organize the list by the different stores I will need to go to, as I find this helps me to remember everything I need.

If I am preparing a meal that requires special ingredients I make my lists even earlier to allow for a trip to the specialty food store.

I didn’t do this with Dinner A and a last minute trip to the store for a forgotten ingredient put me critically behind schedule.

5. Have a schedule

The day before, I de-clutter all entertaining areas (which is often most of the work) and I set the tables and arrange all serving plates and spoons. This act itself makes me feel so much less stressed about the rest of the preparations!

I then write out a schedule of which recipes need to be started first and check off each dish from my menu plan when complete.

I plan on dinner being served 30 minutes to an hour after official arrival time to allow for late arrivals.

Bonus tip: With small children I usually serve them first so parents can help. Now that I have teenage boys, though, I have the adults go first to ensure there is enough food!

6. Enlist help

If you really want to experience stress-free entertaining, there are two groups of people that you can, and should, accept help from: your family and your guests.

In terms of my family, I find that if I tell my family in advance of an event and their roles, I am more likely to get their help. I usually enlist them to help with pre-party clean up, table setting, and greeting guests at the door when they arrive. This helps me to stay on track and also, I hope, grooms my kids to be gracious hosts.

In terms of guests, if they offer to help, accept! For years, I side-stepped offers of help, thinking that the only way I could be a good host was if I provided everything, but I have let that ridiculousness go. Now, I am much more comfortable asking folks to bring salads, appetizers, desserts, and beverages, should they offer their assistance.

While the above may seem like a lot of work, it honestly saves time and stress overall (similar to the wise investment of making a weekly plan for your family dinners). Best of all, you get to enjoy the evening as much as your guests.

Do you have any secrets to stress-free entertaining tips to add? Please leave a comment below. 

Is hosting still stressing you out? Check out my post on how I got over my fear of entertaining.

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