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Ask Jessica: What is a Healthy Diet for Perimenopause that Isn’t Overwhelming?

A woman in midlife is overwhelmed by all of the things she *should* be eating to maximize her health as she ages and asks what is a healthy diet for perimenopause that is actually achievable. Jessica explains why different foods are helpful and then shares a rational and less overwhelming approach to healthy eating in midlife.

baked tofu bowls: an example of a healthy diet for perimenopause

Ask Jessica is an advice column for women in midlife. We cover all things related to midlife from changing bodies to career transitions to parenting teens to sandwich generation challenges to shifts in marital or life partnerships and everything in between. My hope is that in sharing these questions and answers I can women as we face the midlife journey together. Got a question or challenge you would like me to address? Fill out this form to submit your issue! Want to see the answers to other questions, check out our archive here.

What Is a Healthy Diet for Perimenopause?

HEY JESSICA: A few months ago, I decided to do some research into how I should change my diet now that I am in perimenopause. From what I’ve read, the big recommendations seem to be to eat a TON of protein every day, along with increasing fiber, still getting enough fruits and vegetables, making sure I’m eating healthy fats, focusing on hydration, and the list goes on and on. I’ve been trying my best, but to be totally honest, I can’t figure out how to get it all in and am starting to feel not only like a failure, but also like if I don’t get this right my later years are going to be miserable. So how do I get all the nutrients I need without losing my mind? Please share your thoughts what is a healthy diet for perimenopause!  ~Trying To Be Healthy

DEAR TRYING TO BE HEALTHY: When I was pregnant with my first child, I read What to Expect When You Are Expecting from cover to cover. And of all of the advice in that book, the part that was most challenging for me was the section on what you should eat when you’re pregnant. I remember reading the recommendations and feeling like if I didn’t eat everything they were suggesting in the quantities that they recommended, my baby was not going to develop properly in utero and that I would be setting him up for all kinds of problems later in life. For two or three weeks, I was in a total panic and many of the disordered eating patterns I had worked for so many years to overcome came back.

Then, one day, I was talking with a good friend about my worries and she looked at me and said, with great love, “the stress you are feeling about this is going to be worse for you and your baby than not having the perfect diet. As long as you eat relatively healthy, everything will be fine.” I am not a doctor, so I have no idea whether what she was saying was medically true, but what it did was give me permission to focus on doing my best to eat a balanced, healthy diet rather than obsess over checking off every single nutritional box the book recommended. The relief was huge. Oh, and my baby turned out just fine!

Why did I tell that story? Because I want to reassure you in a similar sort of way. Now, it is true that as we get older our nutritional needs change and it is worthwhile to try to integrate some changes that will do you good, but it is also important that you enjoy your food and feel at peace with your diet. So, I want to highlight some of the changes to think about, but then also offer a re-frame that might be helpful.

Before I go any further, I want to be clear: I am not prescribing a diet here. I am only sharing general recommendations. Furthermore, if you are going to make any major changes, I would suggest talking to your doctor or a nutritionist to figure out what is best for you.

Ok. So here is a brief overview of what a healthy diet for perimenopause might look like.

Protein: Protein is important at our age for brain health, muscle health, bone health, and energy. Ideally, we should be getting .54-.9 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight per day. So, for a woman who weighs 165 pounds, that would be between 90-150 grams per day. But what does that even mean? Well, one serving of protein is roughly equal to the size and thickness of your palm and you should be getting 3-6 servings per day (so 1-2 servings per meal). Great options for lean proteins include poultry, seafood, eggs, low-fat dairy, soy products (tofu, edamame, etc.), and beans and legumes. And, if you are comfortable with it, another option can be to use protein powder in smoothies, pancakes, etc.

Healthy Fats: These are important because they play a big role in inflammation, how well our nervous system sends our signals, and our cell membrane structure. Here you want to be getting about 5-6 servings per day (so, again 1-2 servings per meal) and a serving size is about the size of your thumb. Options here include: nuts, cold-pressed oils, olives, oily fish (like salmon), avocados, egg yolks, and coconut.

Fruits & Vegetables: We all know that fruits and veggies are really important for our overall health, but at our age it is important to note that they reduce the risk of many chronic diseases and also are a good source of fiber. A serving of vegetables is about equal to the size of your fist and a serving of fruit is roughly the amount that you can fit into your palm. In total, you want to aim for at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies each day.

Fiber: Here you’re aiming for 25-28 grams if you are under 50 and 22 grams if you are over 50 (this isn’t because women actually need less as they age, it’s because usually our caloric intake decreases and fiber needs are actually calculated as a ratio 14 grams per 1,000 kilocalories/day). Fiber is important because it helps to maintain a healthy gut microbiome (which helps with hormone production, inflammation, mood, and so much more), reduces risk of chronic disease, helps to shed bad cholesterol, and helps you to poop (which sometimes becomes harder as we age). Fiber can be found in whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and beans and legumes.

Ok. So, this is when some people (me included!) might start to freak out and feel like there is no way they can pack it all in. I mean, 5 palms’ worth of protein, plus 5 fists of fruits and veggies, plus 6 thumbs of healthy fats, plus lots of whole grains feels completely overwhelming. But instead, I want to offer two re-frames.

One is that there is A LOT of overlap in the foods that offer us these nutrients. Eggs, for example, can provide us with protein and healthy fats. Avocados help us with healthy fats, fruits and vegetables, AND fiber. Nuts are on the list for healthy fats, but they also give us some protein and fiber. And ALL fruits and veggies give us at least some fiber. So, while it may feel like you need to pack everything in all the time, there are lots of foods that can offer many benefits.

The second re-frame is one that I have talked about for years on The Scramble and that is that if we just focus on making our own food rather than depending on take-out or store-bought meals, we are already way ahead of the game. So, just focus as best you can on adding in the healthier options when possible, enjoying those homemade meals, and learning to listen to and trust our body because it has a lot to tell you about what is and isn’t working. 

But more than anything, Trying To Be Healthy, remember that while it is important to nourish our bodies, it is also important to be happy. So, please don’t lose sight of enjoying your food because a long life should also be a happy life.

I hope this helps to take away some of the overwhelm and stress you are feeling and reminds you that if you are paying attention, you are already winning. You’ve got this! 

PS- Check out this post for more information on food during perimenopause and menopause.

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