A perimenopausal woman feels anxiety about eating holiday foods and gaining weight, but still wants to enjoy the holidays. Jessica offers a mindset shift and then offers suggestions on how to enjoy holiday foods without guilt during perimenopause.
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How to Enjoy Holiday Foods Without Guilt During Perimenopause
HEY JESSICA: Over the past year, as perimenopause really hit for me, I have gained a good amount of weight. For the most part, I haven’t freaked out, but I have increased my exercise regimen and begun watching what I eat more carefully. But now that we are at the holiday season and all of the special holiday foods are around, I am starting to struggle. I want to eat all of the special treats I love, but I am terrified of backsliding on all of the hard work I have put in. Please tell me there is a healthy and sane way to handle this struggle! ~Pass the Pie
DEAR PASS THE PIE:
Thank you so much for asking this question as I suspect this is a tension many women feel at this time of year. And, for many of us, the anxiety that we start to feel about food can be all consuming, especially if we have a history of disordered eating or body image issues. So, let’s talk about how to enjoy holiday foods without guilt during perimenopause.
Now, the first thing I want to do in answering your question is to give you a loving reality check because while it may feel like the holiday season is non-stop decadence, the reality is that much of the season is totally normal. Here’s how I like to break that down for people:
It’s a little more than a month from Thanksgiving to New Year’s but, to keep things simple, let’s say there are 30 days. Now, let’s take a look at how many days within that time frame you are actually eating outside of the norm.
- Let’s assume that you go all out on Thanksgiving and New Year’s
- If you celebrate Christmas, maybe you go nuts on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
- If you celebrate Hanukkah, then maybe you go crazy with the fried goodies twice in the eight days
- If you celebrate Kwanza, perhaps two days of big-time eating will happen
- Then, for the sake of argument, let’s add in four holiday shindigs (if you are doing more than that, then you are my socializing hero)
So, in the end, assuming you aren’t an inter-faith household, you are probably going to have, at most, eight opportunities for major feasting. Which is roughly 1/4 of the days between Thanksgiving and New Years and is less than 1/40 of the entire year!!!
What does this mean? It means that, purely from a numbers perspective, those few celebrations are not going to derail your whole year.
That said, I totally understand how this breakdown may not be enough to assuage your anxieties, so I want to share some suggestions that might be helpful so that you can feel in control without creating lots of rules that you need to monitor or follow.
My first suggestion is to focus on your other meals. On the days you aren’t celebrating and earlier in the day on the days of big evening parties, try your best to follow your normal food routines that have been working for you. In particular, I would recommend focusing on veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. That way you can go into the celebrations feeling good.
Second, at the celebrations look for the naturally colorful dishes. Why? Because colorful dishes (that aren’t colorful thanks to food dyes) usually consist of fruits or vegetables. So, look for that crudité platter with a delicious dip or the roasted or grilled vegetable tray. Similarly, keep an eye out for the lean protein options such as seafood, chicken, and bean dishes. BUT, make sure to also enjoy your favorite dishes – after all, food is meant to be enjoyed!
Third, don’t eat the stuff you don’t like. I know this sounds kind of odd, but often at parties we fill our plates up with lots of options to try different things, which is super fun. But sometimes, an item or two you put on your plate turn out to not be that great. If that happens, don’t feel obligated to eat it. Instead, save the room in your belly for things you truly enjoy.
Fourth, eat with attention. This one can be tricky, especially in a large social setting, but do your best to be aware of what you are eating and how fast you are doing it, not to control or stop yourself, but rather so that you can listen to your hunger cues. Two tricks can make this a little easier: (1) put your fork down in between bites, rather than loading up your next bite as you are chewing; and (2) after you’ve finished whatever you served yourself, pause before you go back for more and just check in – did I eat everything quickly and therefore need to give my body some time to process? Am I still hungry? If you are, go for more! If not, then hang back for a while, enjoy time with people you love, and then maybe you’ll have more later.
Now, all of that sounds great, but the reality is that even with all of the best actions taken you may have moments when that nasty voice in your head tells you that you’re being bad. If that happens, I encourage you to tell that voice to shut it and then remind yourself that it is OK to be imperfect, it is important to love yourself as you are. Finally, I want to remind you (and me) that food serves many important purposes. Yes, it is to nourish our bodies, but it is also meant to be savored and enjoyed, it connects us to traditions and cultures that mean a lot to us, and it is a way to come together with others. And all of that, all of it, is more important than a dress size.