Have you been feeling stretched a little thin lately? Many of us not only run our own businesses or have demanding jobs or other ongoing commitments, but it can also feel like we are, as my friend Jessica put it, CEOs of our own household. Do you find that you are not only responsible for your own work and to-do lists, but also those of everyone else in your household? In addition, many of us also find we have family members and friends who need our help, requiring more of our attention and energy. No wonder we sometimes feel like we’re going to snap!
None of this daily chaos or drudgery diminishes my deep joy of being a mother to Solomon and Celia. They are the loves of my life and nothing makes me happier than exchanging hugs and kisses, cheering or jeering at American Idol together, and having meaningful talks around the dinner table. But that joy can get sapped after driving endless carpools through traffic, finding dirty socks under couch cushions, and badgering everyone to help with basic chores.
Last week I told (to put it mildly) my family that I was tired of being the house nag. It was time for everyone to take charge of their own activities and schedules (take out the trash, write thank you notes, practice instruments, fill water bottles before sports practices, etc.) without me having to remind them (Keep dreaming, right?). Since the storm, they’ve all been on their best behavior, but as the designated worrier of the house, I’m sure I’ll be back to my constant reminders before long (Sigh.).
Recently my business group hosted a guest speaker who led a discussion about how hard it is for moms especially to make time for leisure in our own lives. Our group agreed that we all needed to make our own needs a bigger priority, even if it means scheduling (and then sticking to) appointments with ourselves as we would any other commitment.
Although I sometimes complain about being too busy, I do actually take time for myself every day. I go for a long rejuvenating walk in the woods with my dogs (and often a friend or two), I read a novel before bed (right now I am loving The Postmistress by Sarah Blake), and I’m also pretty good about getting together with friends in the evening every couple of weeks.
So how do you make time for yourself? Can you squeeze in at least an hour a day of “you” time? With Mother’s Day this Sunday, my message this week is to look beyond special holidays like Mother’s Day and our birthdays, and to put ourselves at the center of our own lives for at least a short time every day. We are the pillars upon which our families and friends lean for support and strength. When we don’t make time for our own needs, our pillars can start to lean or even crumble. This Sunday, and every day, buttress your precious ability to “mother” others by nurturing yourself.